It took nearly half a century for Birch Parlee to be herself.
Christened at birth in 1965 as Bernard Thomas, the first-born son of an evangelical minister, she spoke candidly with the Spotlight about her path.
乌鸦传媒淚n about Grade 3 or 4, about the time I really became aware that boys and girls were different, I wanted to be a girl. I started to imitate girls and it didn乌鸦传媒檛 take me long to find out that wasn乌鸦传媒檛 cool乌鸦传媒 lot of bullying and teasing followed me throughout my school years,乌鸦传媒� she said.
乌鸦传媒淭here was a sense of misalignment that I didn乌鸦传媒檛 have any language to understand. I saw it as something fundamentally wrong with me.乌鸦传媒�
Pressured to conform to family expectations and social norms, she was a church worship leader for 15 years.
乌鸦传媒淚 buried it. I pushed it down. I lived a lie.乌鸦传媒�
She grew a full beard and went so far as to pursue 乌鸦传媒渕anly乌鸦传媒� occupations, was a commercial fisher for 15 years, and later a farmworker and truck driver.
Two marriages ended in divorce 乌鸦传媒渁nd a lot of heartache乌鸦传媒hey both needed a man and I cannot be one. I think that would be the way to boil it down.乌鸦传媒�
Birch is one of approximately 132,000 transgender people living across our nation, according to Statistics Canada.
While encouraging curiosity, she waves off the need for politically correct language.
乌鸦传媒淚 don乌鸦传媒檛 get my panties in a bunch about that.乌鸦传媒�
Birch began coming out publicly about three years ago, shortly after moving to the community with her partner Saskia.
乌鸦传媒淎 quite elderly woman in this town, who was attending a function at the library, walked up to me afterwards and said 乌鸦传媒榟ello.乌鸦传媒� She asked me if I considered myself a woman or a man in a dress. For me, that wasn乌鸦传媒檛 offensive. It was an opportunity for me to tell a bit of my story.乌鸦传媒�
It was Saskia who created a space where Birch could be honest.
乌鸦传媒淪askia was someone who loved me in a way that I felt safe and I could be honest with her. Once I was honest with her, out of those conversations, I finally was able to admit it to myself. I no longer felt there was something wrong with me. I am just different.乌鸦传媒�
The relationship was already mostly devoid of gender roles and stereotypes. 乌鸦传媒淭he only thing that was different was that I was able to let go of pretending in any way of being a man, or trying.乌鸦传媒�
Recently Birch changed her name and her legal gender and the two were married in August 2020.
乌鸦传媒淚 am legally a woman and we are legally a lesbian couple, but she doesn乌鸦传媒檛 really like labels.乌鸦传媒�
Birch receives a hormone therapy of estrogen and progesterone and noted many transgender people regard questions about surgery 乌鸦传媒渁s nobody else乌鸦传媒檚 business.乌鸦传媒�
She said: 乌鸦传媒淚n the initial phase, I couldn乌鸦传媒檛 even comprehend it and I was perhaps in judgment of people who did it. In the beginning, I believed that it is what乌鸦传媒檚 inside that matters. The problem is outside is perpetually undermining your sense of inside and I think trans people do become a little bit obsessed with their appearance. It is an attempt to bring your inside and your outside into alignment.乌鸦传媒�
Birch described the acceptance of the Princeton community 乌鸦传媒渁s almost unbelievably positive in many, many ways.乌鸦传媒� Still, she added, 乌鸦传媒渢here are certain places I don乌鸦传媒檛 go, where I don乌鸦传媒檛 feel quite safe.乌鸦传媒�
And she remarked with consternation on a recent Spotlight story about an altercation at a local bar allegedly incited by slurs against a transgender patron.
For the most part, Birch乌鸦传媒檚 family, including two children, step-children and siblings, are supportive.
乌鸦传媒淢y father tries,乌鸦传媒� she said, 乌鸦传媒渂ut it乌鸦传媒檚 hard.乌鸦传媒�
When asked what advice she would give her younger self, she does not hesitate.
乌鸦传媒淒on乌鸦传媒檛 be afraid. Don乌鸦传媒檛 hide. Find a way to be yourself. It乌鸦传媒檚 a journey乌鸦传媒eople assume that I made a choice to be trans and people really need to understand it isn乌鸦传媒檛 something you choose. It乌鸦传媒檚 something you are and the choice is whether or not you accept it.乌鸦传媒�
Do you have something to add to this story, or something else we should report on? Email:andrea.demeer@similkameenspotlight.com
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